Turn It Again: Torah Wisdom for Today
In Pirkei Avot, a book of maxims in the Mishnah, an ancient rabbi, Ben Bag-Bag said about Torah study, “Hafokh bah, va’Hafokh vah, d’khola bah.” Turn it over and over, for everything is in it. For two thousand years, that’s what Jews have done. Here is another turning.
Parsha Beha’alot’cha 2025
Friction Lifts Us Up
Rabbi David Kosak
Parashat Beha’alot’cha, which means “when you lift up,” explores the lighting of the menorah, distributed leadership, and the consequences of chronic complaining. Into this mix is thrown a description of the erav rav, or the “mixed multitude” of peoples who left Egypt with the Israelites. The Torah does not define this “great mixture”, but mentions it sandwiched between the people and livestock who went up from Egypt to Israel. Their presence is thus intimately connected with our freedom march, but within rabbinic literature, this does not have a positive valence; in fact, the opposite is true. Within many oral and midrashic traditions they are the Egyptian magicians and soothsayers.[1] They are the demonic offspring of Adam[2], who incarnated as the wicked souls of Sodom and Gomorrah.[3] They are soul sparks that fell from Moses and were subsumed in an evil shell, and thus Moses tried to redeem them by bringing them up from Egypt with us.[4] The erav rav is also seen by some as outwardly pious Jews and rabbis who mislead the Jewish people in their own desire for power and glory.[5] They are blamed for the incident of the Golden Calf—how else could Israel commit idolatry immediately after the great miracle of redemption and its receiving of the Torah at Mount Sinai?
A motif arises and threads its way through each of these explanations; the erav rav is responsible for causing Jews to sin (a misuse of our freedom), and thus must be spurned. Implicit in this suspicion is the reality that differences create friction, and that friction is bad.
Friction is difficult, but it is useful and productive, even as it reduces our anxiety. Laura and I were listening to a fascinating episode of Trevor Noah’s podcast in which his guest was Esther Perel. Esther Perel is a world-renowned Belgian Jewish psychologist and relationship guru. During previous appearances with Trevor, they spoke about her work, yet in this episode, they openly discussed Esther’s life. Trevor’s premise is that our stories, as well as how we tell them, are like a compass, pointing our lives to unfold in a particular manner, which brings us back to this idea of friction.
There can be no stories, growth, or even love without struggle. Obstacles are essential building blocks, while overcoming them provides us with the confidence to navigate the next set of obstacles. As we know, there will always be a new challenge. Friction is unavoidable.
During the episode, Esther explained that one reason we are living in an age of anxiety is because children are encountering fewer obstacles, in part because of cell-phone usage. Indeed, the promise of the cellphone and social media is that a frictionless, carefully curated life can be created for us. We are only shown what we wish to see, which is an unexpected form of today’s cancel culture. Unfortunately, this well-intentioned desire to smooth life’s path is, ironically, making us statistically more miserable because we are becoming less practiced in the art of friction.
Although we have been bequeathed with a legacy in which the erav rav is viewed as a demonic force, we can reread these stories until we recognize that regardless of who or what they were, they presented the fledgling nation with necessary points of friction to spur our capacity as a newly freed and capable people.
Recognizing that friction is essential to happiness does not mean that we should be masochists who seek out the most painful obstacles we can find. Life will do that for us, we don’t need to lend a hand! Yet when those moments arrive, how we greet them makes all the differences.
Trevor talked about how many things can go wrong on one of his comedy tours, in part because there are literally so many moving pieces. While this is not a direct quote, he effectively stated that, “It’s not that these problems don’t bother me, they do. But I also know that ultimately, they will be source material for new comedy. That allows me to take these obstacles in stride.”
Rav Kook said something similar about the tensions that existed in pre-state Palestine between the secular and religious Jews. Rav Kook was the first Chief Rabbi, and perhaps its greatest precisely because he viewed obstacles as opportunities. This allowed him to form bridges between secular and religious Jews where there were none. While discussing the erav rav, he notes that although diversity creates hardship and difficulty for our identity, it ultimately enriches us and those around us.[6]
Pema Chödrön, the beloved American Buddhist nun, relays a similar teaching in a relatable and memorable manner that we can easily carry with us. When she would debrief with her teacher after a session, she would convey to him what material had appeared during her meditation sit. One time, she felt that she had reached a new level of enlightenment. Another time, she felt agitated or disturbed by difficult emotions or thoughts. In each case, her teacher responded with the same advice, offered in a compassionate manner. “No big deal.” What he meant is that so often, when friction appears in our lives, we turn it into a bigger deal than it is. Similarly, when instead we encounter those frictionless moments of illumination, we can also make too much of them, when, once again, “it is no big deal.”
There is a way that we can lift up good and bad circumstances by remembering that all our experiences are holy but not special. Just as the erav rav was a mix of both challenges and potential, so too is every moment in our lives. Some smooth, some rough—each one essential. Through the friction between them, we are ultimately lifted up.
[1] Zohar Ki Tissa 191A
[2] Eruvin 18b
[3] Isaac Luria, Sha’ar HaKevanot 1b
[4] Etz Hayim, 32: 2
[5] Likutim Ha GR”A
[6] Ein Eyah III: 105-107
