Passing down the life lessons I’ve learned to my children and loved ones is a unique challenge. Of all the things I want to share with those who come after me, sharing my thoughts on how to live life seems simultaneously deeply satisfying, yet extremely complicated. But as daunting as it is, I know how important it is.
It still upsets me that when my father died, he didn’t create an ethical will for me. He was my rock, my go-to person for problem solving. I longed for his voice. I sat at my computer for weeks writing down all the lessons he had taught me, and I came up with a list of 100 phrases, book titles, or statements from my memories of him that resonated with me. These 100 statements lived on my wall as I finished my graduate programs and on the desktop of every computer I’ve ever had. I pasted them below for your reference and enjoyment. When I’m having a rough day or I’m unsure of a decision, I turn to the list. At the very least it gives me a smile, and in the best moments it helps me to think through a problem just like we were sitting together. While I still wish my father had done the work of collecting these himself, my active role in creating this list has meant the world to me, and to this day when I’m teaching, I teach in his honor.
We’re nearing the end of the Torah, and Moses and God are trying to get in all their last “tidbits of love” for the Israelite nation. The end of the Torah is filled with poems and lessons learned, rules for remembering, and nostalgia for what once was. The name of the parshah, Vayelech, means “and he went.” The focus is on Moses going to the mountain and what his death will look like. And the lesson is what he taught the people and how he will be remembered. As we read Parshat Vayelech this week, we are reminded of how essential it is to be clear about what your values and morals are as the next generation takes over.
I purposefully wrote a slightly shorter d’var Torah this week so you could use the extra time to sit with a loved one and write down your vision and mission for life. Create something that will live on and go after you as a blessing.
Steven Posen’s Words of Wisdom
1. Always wake up with a smile | 35. Acceptance | 69. The whole shebang |
2. Laugh good hard belly laughs | 36. Since you were a little girl, parents check in on you always | 70. Mourn the past, live in the present |
3. I mean it Eviee, you gotta breathe | 37. Overpacking isn’t good | 71. Rabbi or plumber, there is a leak to fix |
4. Take time on one word, one blessing | 38. Growing up is hard | 72. Shabbat is for resting |
5. Tell people you love them | 39. Being a grown-up is harder | 73. Just throw your money out |
6. Roots: know where you are from | 40. Transitions are a part of life | 74. Orange pants; wear your mistakes; bleach and black |
7. Wings: fly to the world | 41. Chronically intermittent | 75. Backwards is better |
8. Who moved my cheese | 42. Chart it out | 76. Slow down |
9. Gung-ho | 43. Indulge once in a while | 77. Facilitate |
10. For what it’s worth (FWIW) | 44. Children are a blessing | 78. Make your own decisions |
11. Perfect pride in everything | 45. Perseverance | 79. A parent’s job is never done |
12. Everything can be summed up in a bullet point | 46. Singing in the shower is the best place to practice nusach | 80. Compete with yourself; you are your best competitor |
13. Dreams are attainable | 47. Importance of a note card | 81. Who are you; genetics |
14. Nachos or nachas | 48. Know your weaknesses | 82. LOVE LIFE; celebrate it |
15. Listen and hear | 49. Grow your strengths | 83. God’s hands |
16. Learn to watch | 50. Smell the green | 84. Holy vessels; what we are |
17. Space it out | 51. Pick your battles | 85. TRY IT |
18. Door off the hinges; you loose | 52. Sometimes it feels like gas; learning is hard, but always comes | 86. Don’t separate from the community, embrace them |
19. Stand up straight | 53. Prioritize addiction | 87. PROJECT YOURSELF |
20. Aleinu length; modesty | 54. Hold my hand | 88. Career is not life |
21. Love the one you’re with | 55. Feeling like a dead duck | 89. I’m always flying overhead |
22. Parents can learn from children | 56. Doing instead of learning, or vice versa | 90. On your way, don’t know where |
23. Forgiveness | 57. Time is of the essence | 91. Bless you |
24. Love the little things | 58. BE ON TIME | 92. LIVE YOUR LIFE |
25. Beauty of prayer | 59. Always say THANK YOU | 93. Share your opinion |
26. Copyright your heart | 60. Let it out | 94. Give thanks daily |
27. Challenges, not a sickness | 61. GO BLUE!!! | 95. Enhance yourself naturally |
28. Pack it up and take it with you | 62. Sometimes you fail | 96. WHO YOU ARE is not where you are |
29. Change is good | 63. Own it: actions, words | 97. Knowledge and wisdom are different |
30. Fly higher than the plane | 64. Savor it: life | 98. Say it in a rhyme |
31. It is O.K. to leave | 65. Problem solving; frame of mind | 99. Make it fun, they’ll come back |
32. Betzelem elohim; we are all created in God’s image | 66. Tradition: the way WE do it | 100. KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU |
33. Family is life | 67. Use your words | |
34. Fun is what YOU make it | 68. Belief; trust in God |