Forgiveness isn’t often controversial, but for Eva Mozes Kor, it was. In 2015, at the trial of former Auschwitz guard Oskar Groening, Holocaust survivor Kor publicly forgave 93-year-old Groening, a former SS officer who was facing accusations of accessory to 300,000 murders. This act of forgiveness was widely criticized by Kor’s co-plaintiffs, who questioned her decision to be a plaintiff at all. But whether you feel what Kor did was right or wrong, it certainly speaks to the very human need to reconcile our feelings. Toward the end of her life, Eva Kor felt that the hate she was holding was more painful to her than to the Nazis at whom that hate was directed. She would go on to write, “I didn’t forgive the Nazis because they deserve it. They don’t. I forgave them because I deserve it.”

Parshat Vayigash, this week’s Torah portion, shows us behavioral changes that lead to what was perhaps a very unlikely reconciliation, considering everything that has transpired in Jacob’s family. In the parshah, Joseph’s brother Yehudah (Judah) tries to redeem himself by asking to be imprisoned instead of Benjamin, and Joseph reveals himself to his brothers and heroically invites the whole family to Egypt to save them from starvation in Israel. In addition, Joseph and his father Jacob are reunited, and Joseph is able to finally reveal his newfound position of power.

This emotional reunion of Joseph with his brothers is the definition of forgiveness. This moment of healing their fractured relationship also reflects the rebuilding of shalom bayit, literally “peace in the home.” This Jewish value originally referred to marital relationships, but now often includes the whole family unit. Reconciliation isn’t necessarily easy; it requires intense work on all sides. But maintaining shalom bayit creates an environment where kindness, patience, and understanding thrive. A home that embodies this value is a microcosm of a peaceful society. Families filled with love and harmony contribute the same to their communities.

If you’ve recently reconciled with someone or are working to repair a relationship, what better way to mark the moment than to pause and offer a blessing to honor and sanctify this essential human act:  

Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Sovereign of the Universe, who brings peace among siblings and teaches us to seek forgiveness and understanding.

– Rabbi Eve Posen

Source: A Blessing for Reconciliation