Parshat Chukat begins with the laws of the parah adumah, the red heifer—a ritual for purifying those who have come into contact with death. The paradox is striking: those performing the ritual become impure in the process of purifying others. This is followed by narrative shifts, including the death of Miriam, a confrontation over water at Mei Merivah, and the death of Aaron, high priest and elder brother to Moses. These moments mark deep and significant transitions in Israel’s journey, both spiritually and communally. Death, absence, and leadership change form the emotional core of the parshah, and are a part of our tradition even today.
Upon hearing news of a death, we recite:
בָּרוּךְ דַּיָּן הָאֱמֶת – Blessed is the true Judge.
This blessing, raw and unsweetened, does not mask the pain of loss. It acknowledges that life is often beyond our understanding—and that even grief deserves a sacred response. When Miriam and Aaron die, the Israelites stop. They mourn. And they move forward. Judaism teaches that pausing to mourn is not weakness; it is faith in action. In the blessing of Dayan Ha’Emet, we declare that grief belongs inside the walls of holiness—that death is not a detour from the spiritual path, but part of it.
We live in a culture that often rushes to “move on.” Judaism, and Parshat Chukat, challenge us to lean in. To say the blessing. To sit with someone in the silence of their sorrow. To hold space for the pain of transition, and to name it sacred. In doing so, we become like the red heifer’s caretakers—risking discomfort in order to bring purification and healing to others. May we never be afraid to speak the hard blessings. May we meet death and loss not only with tears, but with the reverence it deserves.
Baruch Dayan Ha’Emet. Blessed is the true Judge. Blessed is our capacity to mourn with meaning.
Blessing Through Discomfort: Baruch Dayan Ha’Emet
Judaism doesn’t shy away from discomfort. In fact, it ritualizes it. Whether sitting shiva, tearing kriyah, or offering blessings that acknowledge pain, Jewish tradition invites us not to bypass grief, but to dwell in it, to name it, and ultimately to sanctify it. This week’s parshah, Chukat, does just that—it brings us face to face with loss and the messiness of mourning, and offers us an ancient blueprint for how to respond.
Parshat Chukat begins with the laws of the parah adumah, the red heifer—a ritual for purifying those who have come into contact with death. The paradox is striking: those performing the ritual become impure in the process of purifying others. This is followed by narrative shifts, including the death of Miriam, a confrontation over water at Mei Merivah, and the death of Aaron, high priest and elder brother to Moses. These moments mark deep and significant transitions in Israel’s journey, both spiritually and communally. Death, absence, and leadership change form the emotional core of the parshah, and are a part of our tradition even today.
Upon hearing news of a death, we recite:
בָּרוּךְ דַּיָּן הָאֱמֶת – Blessed is the true Judge.
This blessing, raw and unsweetened, does not mask the pain of loss. It acknowledges that life is often beyond our understanding—and that even grief deserves a sacred response. When Miriam and Aaron die, the Israelites stop. They mourn. And they move forward. Judaism teaches that pausing to mourn is not weakness; it is faith in action. In the blessing of Dayan Ha’Emet, we declare that grief belongs inside the walls of holiness—that death is not a detour from the spiritual path, but part of it.
We live in a culture that often rushes to “move on.” Judaism, and Parshat Chukat, challenge us to lean in. To say the blessing. To sit with someone in the silence of their sorrow. To hold space for the pain of transition, and to name it sacred. In doing so, we become like the red heifer’s caretakers—risking discomfort in order to bring purification and healing to others. May we never be afraid to speak the hard blessings. May we meet death and loss not only with tears, but with the reverence it deserves.
Baruch Dayan Ha’Emet. Blessed is the true Judge. Blessed is our capacity to mourn with meaning.
Parshat Chukat begins with the laws of the parah adumah, the red heifer—a ritual for purifying those who have come into contact with death. The paradox is striking: those performing the ritual become impure in the process of purifying others. This is followed by narrative shifts, including the death of Miriam, a confrontation over water at Mei Merivah, and the death of Aaron, high priest and elder brother to Moses. These moments mark deep and significant transitions in Israel’s journey, both spiritually and communally. Death, absence, and leadership change form the emotional core of the parshah, and are a part of our tradition even today.
Upon hearing news of a death, we recite:
בָּרוּךְ דַּיָּן הָאֱמֶת – Blessed is the true Judge.
This blessing, raw and unsweetened, does not mask the pain of loss. It acknowledges that life is often beyond our understanding—and that even grief deserves a sacred response. When Miriam and Aaron die, the Israelites stop. They mourn. And they move forward. Judaism teaches that pausing to mourn is not weakness; it is faith in action. In the blessing of Dayan Ha’Emet, we declare that grief belongs inside the walls of holiness—that death is not a detour from the spiritual path, but part of it.
We live in a culture that often rushes to “move on.” Judaism, and Parshat Chukat, challenge us to lean in. To say the blessing. To sit with someone in the silence of their sorrow. To hold space for the pain of transition, and to name it sacred. In doing so, we become like the red heifer’s caretakers—risking discomfort in order to bring purification and healing to others. May we never be afraid to speak the hard blessings. May we meet death and loss not only with tears, but with the reverence it deserves.
Baruch Dayan Ha’Emet. Blessed is the true Judge. Blessed is our capacity to mourn with meaning.
